Generally, losing virginity is associated with the transition to adulthood from childhood. Some people have first sex as the act of showing feelings and committing love. Others do not take things so seriously. They do not mind having sex with a friend, as they believe it is only the beginning of the path to personal fulfillment and greater sexual pleasure. Today, everyone is expected to have sex and really enjoy it. If there are obstacles on your way to orgasm, you start fighting them. But everything begins exactly with losing virginity.
The Stigma of the V-Card
“Have you already had sex?” ”Are you still a virgin?” These are the most common questions that every teenager hears. Often, the interlocutor doesn’t stop after getting the first answer. Next, you can hear something like, “At what age did you lose your virginity?”. In case the person is not very experienced, he/she starts to feel ashamed. Finally, others can say directly, “I am still a virgin,” and feel ok. As can be seen, it all depends.
TV series and movies teach young people how to lose a V-car, but not everybody is ready to start this path. You should understand that you are normal if you are still one of them. Nobody knows better than you when it is high time to have the first sex, as well as “How often do you need sex?” per week.
As a rule, some virgins want to have sex, but they can’t find the right person. Others feel quite comfortable while waiting but still worry about being inexperienced quietly. What is more, there are people who feel absolutely not interested in sexual intercourse. These asexual people may face a well-known virginity stigma.
Virginity stigma: examples
To begin with, there are many examples of virginity stigma. Here are some of them:
- Shame about being a virgin
- The idea that everybody is eager to lose their virginity, and those who are still virgins, simply do not have a match
- Using “virgin” as a way to bully other people
It should be stated that virginity stigma is usually gendered. Women come across pressures around sex. Some cultures make them into the sex earlier than they are actually ready, while others are criticized for putting off the boundaries. As for men, they are expected to be sexually active, and they do not want to conform to this norm. As a result, they even can show aggressive sexual behavior to make the woman have sex.
How to Fight Virginity Stigma?
You can find different statistics on the average age of losing virginity worldwide, but you should mind that virginity is not a physical problem. Therefore, if you say, “I am still a virgin,” you should not feel ashamed. However, not all people can cope with the pressure of society. As a result, they may have mistaken notions about their own sexuality, toxic stew of self-doubt and even relationship frustration. If you feel pressure and can’t overcome it, then approaching a therapist seems to be a great idea for sure. Here are a few ways the specialist can help you:
- Discussing the questions of gender norms, shame, and self-esteem
- Encouraging to draw own sexual boundaries rather than using the boundaries of parents, friends, etc.
- Suggesting to talk about sex with a partner
Such therapy can help you get ready for a healthy sexual relationship and lose your virginity at the moment when you want, without any pressure, regret, or worries.
Most People Lose Virginity as Adults
What is the right age to lose your virginity? There is no right answer. It all depends on a particular person. Still, when you are a virgin, it seems that everybody around is having sex constantly. According to the research, the average age of loss of virginity is about 17 years. But you are not recommended to believe these statistics completely. Some guys feel ashamed of being virgins; hence they may spoil the statistics with the wrong answers. This again says about virginity stigma. When people worry about their own inexperience, they risk feeling less comfortable with their partners and trying new things in sex.