Obstacles to Orgasm and Ways to Overcome Them


Orgasm makes you wait or covers you with a wave, then it covers like a flame, then it barely touches, sometimes it comes easily and suddenly, and sometimes it requires exertion and persistence. Usually, it takes a woman 10 to 20 minutes to reach the peak point. Before orgasm, a pleasant warmth spreads in the intimate area because of the increased blood flow in the pelvic floor area. The labia and clitoris noticeably swell, almost doubling. The vagina is lengthened, the uterus is tightened, the muscles of the whole body tighten. Heart rate increases, blood pressure rises. Ultimately, the body responds to the peak moment with a series of muscle contractions in the vagina, uterus, and anus. All this lasts on average from 3 to 15 seconds.

What Prevents You from Having Orgasm?

The female orgasm is a capricious and unpredictable phenomenon, even under the most seemingly favorable conditions. It has no visible biological meaning and even without it, a lady can have an intimate

relationship, become pregnant and give birth to healthy children. Still, orgasm is a necessity for making the woman happy, satisfied, and confident. So let’s look at the common obstacles on the way to orgasm and find the option to cope with them.

1.  Lack of trust in the partner

With a life partner or a partner for one night, the necessary condition for orgasm is trust. There’s a man or a woman who has the power to fetter us or emancipate us. Trusting a partner means going beyond all sorts of norms and clichés. It doesn’t mean whether you have been living together for 10 years; or got acquainted on a dating site a month ago.

What to do? If you can’t relax because you do not trust the man then it is recommended to talk with him and explain your fears, desires. Better ask yourself: What do I like? What do I want? These questions are really worth asking. Then just share your desires with your partner.

2.  Absence of self-confidence

According to a recent survey, 10 to 40% say that reaching orgasm is quite difficult for them. While the reasons are different, the absence of self-confidence is one of the most important. To achieve orgasm, it’s very important to us to be supported by self-confidence and self-esteem in daily life. In the sexual area, good self-esteem comes from trusting your body and the image that it creates. Possessing this deep confidence means that you no longer need striving for orgasm as an aim, but learning to enjoy at your own pace, without focusing all your attention on the partner’s pleasure and without making your enjoyment dependent on his feelings.

What to do? Think about drawbacks that do not let you consider yourself attractive. Do they really exist or do they live only in your head? Be honest and use all answers to boost your self-confidence.

3.  Too many thoughts

The woman will not be able to reach orgasm if she thinks about plenty of other things right at the moment. These may be thoughts from “What to cook for dinner” to “Why didn’t I wash my hair?”. As many experts state, sex for woman start in the head.

What to do? Get ready to sex in advance. Forget about all unsolved problems at work and home. Find a way to get relaxed. It may be a warm bath, music, romantic film, etc. Dream and share your fantasies with a partner. This will help you get closer.

4.  Inexperience

At the very beginning, girls may experience difficulties with reaching orgasm because they do not know their own body and its reactions. Experts say that it is not a problem at the age of 20-23. Still, many ladies face the same difficulties even being more mature. In these cases, sex intercourse doesn’t end with orgasm because the lady simply doesn’t know own erogenous zones. Each person has more or less responsive zones. It is difficult for a partner to guess what makes the woman reach orgasm. Her task is to reveal all capabilities and particularities of her own body, and show how the man should act.

What to do? Explore your body, develop sensitivity and sexuality.  Experiment with different techniques, sex types, toys, etc.

5.  Physiological unavailability

Foreplay is an important stage and you shouldn’t ignore it. The woman needs to get excited to receive satisfaction from sexual intercourse and reach orgasm. Experts say that in general foreplay should take about 20 minutes. Some men do not pay attention to this fact, therefore the woman just can’t reach orgasm due to physiological unavailability.

What to do?  Instead of pretending to have an orgasm, let your partner know what you need to reach it. He should keep patient and help you get ready for sensitive pleasure.  

Summing -up

Orgasm is the most exciting point of the entire sexual intercourse. However, you shouldn’t focus all your attention only on it. Enjoy the process, forget about available problems, develop self-confidence, trust your partner and have long foreplay. All these simple steps will let you get what you have come for. 

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  • Moreno Zugaro

    Hello. I am Moreno Zugaro, a highly regarded dating coach and passionate writer. I dedicate myself to studying various psychological theories, communication stategies, and personal development techniques to gain a comprehensive understanding of what it takes to foster healthy and fulfilling connections. Other people admit that my work has a compassionate approach, unwavering dedication, and deep commitment to helping others lead happier, more fulfilling romantic lives.

One thought on “Obstacles to Orgasm and Ways to Overcome Them”

  • Useful article! Now everything fell into place. My girlfriend, whom I have known for about a year, is not satisfied with sex with me and cannot reach orgasm. She hinted at it indirectly. There can be no question of distrust, because we have been dating for quite a long time. Maybe it’s the preliminary caresses, because I don’t use them at all. Now I will pay attention to them for a long time to excite and relax her. I hope this will help her achieve an orgasm during sex.

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