why can't I get a boyfriend

Why Can’t I Get a Boyfriend: Full Guide, Tips and More

The question “Why can’t I get a boyfriend?” echoes in the minds of many, imposing social pressure that can make you feel confused. The number of women who want to develop their personal businesses, be independent, and achieve success has increased greatly. In general, everything is like in the popular song by Miley Cyrus: “I can buy myself flowers, write my name in the sand…”. However, if you understand that you do not have a romantic relationship for other reasons, then you should figure this out. A season of loneliness can seem like forever but the spring will come, and we are ready to help you with this! 

Is It a Concern if You’ve Never Had a Boyfriend?

It’s not actually a great concern if you’ve never dated a guy. There are many reasons for that, and it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. You can be fulfilled in all areas of your life; be happy with yourself, and don’t think about your relationship status. However, if you worry and wonder, “Will I ever get a boyfriend?” remember that time is different for everyone. Just be true to yourself and if any concerns arise, approach the issue logically and try to understand the reasons. This is more effective than asking your friends, “Why can’t I get a boyfriend?”. Friends are not always able to see the problem objectively.

8 Reasons Why Don’t You Have a Boyfriend

never had a boyfriend

Most girls wonder why I can’t get a boyfriend. You may be an intelligent and beautiful woman but love hasn’t knocked on your door yet. Long periods of self-discovery won’t help you find a boyfriend. However, identifying your problem is the first step to leaving the singles club. 

Not ready for a relationship

Probably you often think about whether you really need a boyfriend. As soon as you start puzzling about all the hardships of a relationship, a feeling of uneasiness arises. Perhaps, at this stage of your life, you do not realize the importance of having a partner next to you and the benefits of being in a relationship, which is also normal. In this case, you should not force yourself, as you’re on the “I don’t want a boyfriend” team. As soon as you feel a need for relationships, then everything will go its own way. 

You are in love with someone

It’s a common case when a girl meets a guy, has feelings for him, and expects him to take the initiative to start a relationship. Firstly, men do not recognize signs, so most likely your feelings are not mutual. While you are dreaming about an unattainable man, it is quite possible that you do not notice someone who is not indifferent to you. Of course, it is very difficult to stop experiencing feelings; it is just a period that you must endure and reconsider.

Narrow circle of communication

Another reason you never had a boyfriend is that you only hang out with your girlfriends, and that’s where your relationships end. In addition, if you generally sit at home most of the time, then what can you expect? You should expand the circle of communication, maybe renew communication with old friends, start going out, attend interesting events, and so on. The more things you do in your life, as well as meeting new people, the more chances you have of finding a boyfriend.

Tomboy lifestyle

You get along great with guys; however, they see you just as a friend. Why does this happen? Your communication style with men is probably more fraternal. Men look for women with coquetry, shyness, charm, and feminine pheromones. Naturally, in a relationship with a guy you should be good friends, but sometimes you have to remind him that you are a girl. It’s not just about appearance but also about behavior, which means avoiding swearing or making rude jokes. 

Difficult character

Relationships are hard work on yourself and you always find a compromise. The guys may speak well of you as a friend, but when they get to know you better, something starts to push them away. The complexity of the character lies in the fact that the person does not give in to anything, it is difficult to negotiate with them, and they are focused only on their whims and desires. Maybe you are rude or pushy with care and they don’t like it. You should analyze your negative character traits and get rid of them. Otherwise, it’ll be too late for you to be looking for boyfriend. 

Too high standards 

If you keep saying, “I want a boyfriend so bad” but you find excuses every time the guy tries to know you, then you definitely have high expectations. Every girl listened to fairy tales where a handsome prince came to save the princess. As we grow older, we don’t stop waiting for an ideal life partner from a fairy tale. In real life, we have to deal with not only positive sides but also many disadvantages. If you are able to accept this fact, you can adequately perceive the boys next to you. Remember that you may also not align with someone’s standards.

Overestimated or low self-esteem

Self-love is a very important skill, but narcissistic girls push men away. When a girl is not confident in herself, she doesn’t know how to accept the attention of a guy. If you treat yourself like you’re not worthy of happiness and cannot be loved, who else would want to build a relationship with you? It’s definitely a challenge to maintain a balance between high and low self-esteem, but at least, you should work on it. 

Bad experiences in the past

When the ex-boyfriend turns out to be a real pain, the girl becomes disappointed in all men and builds a wall so no one can get closer to her. Psychologists recommend giving yourself time to live through failure and focus on the future. Each person is individual and there are men that are different from your ex. 

How to Find a Boyfriend? 5 Steps to Get a Boyfriend

how to meet a boyfriend

Every time you say, “I want a bf” think about what exactly you do to make it happen. If you have no idea, then it’s time to work on it. “How do you get a boyfriend?” is a common question many girls ask, but the answer isn’t as simple as a step-by-step guide.

Start with yourself

First of all, you have to be a confident person with your own interests and goals who strives to become the best version of yourself. If you love and appreciate yourself, it will make you more attractive to most guys. When you’re open, polite, and willing to flirt, any man feels it. Try to give a chance to everyone who at least somehow meets your standards. Avoid having a concept of an ideal man, because of which it will be difficult for you to find a suitable candidate. It’s better to realize what qualities your potential boyfriend should have, what traits you’re not ready to accept, and those you somehow can come to terms with. When you know exactly what you want, it’s easier for everyone. 

Go out

Staying at home, you obviously won’t meet your significant other. Here is what you can do. 

  • No matter how busy you are, make it a rule to get out somewhere every weekend. It will also be great if you have your lunch outside the office. 
  • Think that every time you refuse friends to hang out, you miss the chance to get a boyfriend. 
  • Besides, don’t be afraid to walk alone, as this can be more effective in making a man come up to meet you. 

So, basically, the rule is clear, the more you expand your social contacts, the more opportunities you’ll have. 

Try to experiment with your appearance

While you may dress in a way that makes you feel good about yourself, it might not be very attractive to men. A girl should look seductive, but not vulgar. Try different styles, because today you can combine them, thereby pleasing your eye and the eye of your potential match. Men are known to assess women based on their appearance, and if they find someone they like, they will investigate further to learn more about the woman. In this case, you won’t wonder how to meet a boyfriend as it’s easy to fix the situation. You just need to choose the right hairstyle, add a bit of light natural makeup, and pay attention to physical activity with proper nutrition. The finishing touch may be some expensive perfumes. 

Learn to interact 

Frequently, a gorgeous girl will have no idea how to engage with a man, despite her beauty. Smiling, maintaining eye contact, and demonstrating body language are essential. Starting conversations successfully is another aspect. You should find out what is acceptable to say and what is better to avoid. Overall, if you make an impression as an open and friendly person without making special requests on a first date, you will have a chance to build relationships.

Try online dating

Almost every industry is implemented online, including dating. Ask how many of your friends have found a boyfriend in real life. Online dating makes our lives much easier. 

  • Firstly, it is an extensive database of potential partners, both locally and abroad. Absolutely no boundaries. 
  • Secondly, it is convenient. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, you are always in touch. In real life, you need to find time and coordinate schedules, and it can stretch out for an indefinite period while your interest slowly disappears. 
  • You can call and communicate via video in addition to having limitless chat space. Furthermore, reserved girls can let their hair down and show off their best qualities. 

For those who are unable to handle the thrill of a first date, this is an excellent alternative because it allows you to get to know each other in a relaxed setting through online communication.


Why can’t I get a boyfriend? There is no universal answer to this question. As we’ve explored common reasons that might affect your current relationship status, you have the opportunity to find a partner according to our recommendations. It is obvious when you choose someone out of loneliness or love when you feel at ease being by yourself. When the time comes, your compatible match will show up, and he will be fortunate to have someone as incredible as you by his side.

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